Thursday, 3 June 2010

The Art World Is A Mad World

Tim from The Apprentice - or Farmer Robert Martin, as I like to think of him - is becoming an increasing delight. Forced to sell to the "mad" art world, he revealed himself to be a bit of a Brian Sewell. On an artist who had herself photographed in other people's homes as though she lived there, Tim said "She's not an artist, she's a criminal!" I hugged myself with joy.

Other top moments included:

1. Zoe's wan slouch, not improved by the enormous shoulder pads the bespoker gave her.

The blonde hair, and the hunched slouch motionless-arms posture is a wee bit Patsy Stone, no? I'm just waiting for Zoe to say "Lord Sugar, I could turn a pube into a bouffant."

2. The unexpected delight of Harry Conway, son of the disgraced Tory MP Derek Conway. Nothing gets past this beady eye, especially not when it comes to obscure effete London party promoters.

3. The sight of Nick trying to fit into the art world with a forced smile. I call this photograph, "Have I wasted my life?"

4. Sadly, we bid farewell to Hannah Cherry, but I have a new favourite now in the form of Tim. Anyway, as Hannah droned in the cab, "I've still got my Business Academy and my invention." This oft-mentioned invention. Here's a tip Hannah: why not invent yourself an interesting persona? Wear a hat, or a sluttish lipstick! You could even pretend your parents are artists, when they're actually art teachers! A NOD'S AS GOOD AS A WINK, HANNAH.

No comments:

Post a Comment