Ultimate Postal Joy

Something arrived in the post today. I don't want to panic anyone, but...

EXCELLENCE KLAXON

First, a postcard.

1. Is there anything more butch than a fur vest/gold medallion combination? Not in these sorry times. 2) What kind of name for a lothario is Barry? 3) Bellbottom flares have a hitherto untapped potential for dramatic entraces. Who knew? 4) When painting a naked lady, always sketch the ass-crack in first. That'll lead the eye into the composition.

The postcard also came with a book:

It's a book for MEN. It's a MAN'S NOVEL. It's FOR ADULTS. It's a man's novel for adult men, okay?

So what's it gonna be, Big Bob Bear? You say you've had enough of being woken in the night to the sight of some guy giving you both barrels, but as we all know "guys can't get too much manly action, either."

The blurb on the flap. Note: entirely irrelevant to the plot of the novel.

Here are some extracts from the first page. It is set on a boat, named the Slop Chute. 

It made me sick to see that sonofabitch Gomez laugh like that. He had the same wild look in his eyes that I had once seen on a Jap officer's face after had bayonetted a buddy of mind, old Krooty, on the 'Canal. I remembered what I did to that yellow bastard and my hands twitched to do the same to the Senor.

Needless to say, I'm already hooked.