"I'm bored. Take off your clothes."

I was going to blog on this week’s True Blood, a tour-de-force ticking pretty much all the Fit Crit boxes: Gays! Gay naughties! Eric being gay and naughty! etc, but Jezebel totally beat me to it, and they have video clips and lolcat-esque photos.

Some good comments, too: ‘Tommy is Scrappy Do’ (SO TRUE) and ‘Depressed Beehl is the new Sad Keanu’, which was the inspiration for this piece of photoshopped silliness. Go see.

FitCrit's Keep Fit

Following Charlie Brooker's discovery of this fulsomely erotic Angela Lansbury Keep Fit video, I thought I would investigate other unlikely and hilarious celebrity lifestyle vids.

Alyssa Milano, 'Teen Steam'

Fap-fodder for 80s' teens, this bizarre work out begins with Milano cupping her peesh and shouting angrily at the camera. The interest tends to wane after that.

Zsa Zsa Gabor's 'It's Simple, Darling'

Firstly, how many traffic cops do I have to slap to get the pack of Zsa Zsa playing cards which falls at the beginning? And secondly, how many Eurotrash aristos and Hollywood producers do I have to blow to get one of those black onesies?

More importantly, Zsa says some obscenely quotable things:

'Don't break my neck, darling!' (twice)

'I love it! Do it! Do it!' (More nervous laughter from Francois.)

'Massage me a little more, boy.'

Keep on whorin', ZeeZee!


SIDEBAR

Zsa Zsa instantly senses hostility, and decides to deal with this bitch, by telling her that she is beautiful. The lady can't help but smile. CLASS ACT.
END OF SIDEBAR

'Let's Dance With Richard Wilson' (no video available which is a HATE CRIME)

'I do not believe it.'

TRiPOD Update

Something about the Scissor Sisters' Invisible Light has been bothering me for a while. In particular, the Ian McKellan monologue which I discussed last week. I just couldn't put my finger on where I'd heard it before...