Monday, 9 August 2010

FitCrit's Keep Fit

Following Charlie Brooker's discovery of this fulsomely erotic Angela Lansbury Keep Fit video, I thought I would investigate other unlikely and hilarious celebrity lifestyle vids.

Alyssa Milano, 'Teen Steam'

Fap-fodder for 80s' teens, this bizarre work out begins with Milano cupping her peesh and shouting angrily at the camera. The interest tends to wane after that.

Zsa Zsa Gabor's 'It's Simple, Darling'

Firstly, how many traffic cops do I have to slap to get the pack of Zsa Zsa playing cards which falls at the beginning? And secondly, how many Eurotrash aristos and Hollywood producers do I have to blow to get one of those black onesies?

More importantly, Zsa says some obscenely quotable things:

'Don't break my neck, darling!' (twice)

'I love it! Do it! Do it!' (More nervous laughter from Francois.)

'Massage me a little more, boy.'

Keep on whorin', ZeeZee!


Zsa Zsa instantly senses hostility, and decides to deal with this bitch, by telling her that she is beautiful. The lady can't help but smile. CLASS ACT.

'Let's Dance With Richard Wilson' (no video available which is a HATE CRIME)

'I do not believe it.'

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