Following Charlie Brooker's discovery of this fulsomely erotic Angela Lansbury Keep Fit video, I thought I would investigate other unlikely and hilarious celebrity lifestyle vids.
Alyssa Milano, 'Teen Steam'
Zsa Zsa Gabor's 'It's Simple, Darling'
Firstly, how many traffic cops do I have to slap to get the pack of Zsa Zsa playing cards which falls at the beginning? And secondly, how many Eurotrash aristos and Hollywood producers do I have to blow to get one of those black onesies?
More importantly, Zsa says some obscenely quotable things:
'Don't break my neck, darling!' (twice)
'I love it! Do it! Do it!' (More nervous laughter from Francois.)
'Massage me a little more, boy.'
Keep on whorin', ZeeZee!